Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Paying for proficiency, and other shitty ideas.

Hello, 'BlogWorld!

I've decided to emerge from beneath the shadowy depths of the comments section to actually contribute to what has been for quite some time now my favorite blog. I don't intend to clutter the format, so I'll keep Formula 1 debates, NHL issues, and physics talk to a minimum. I also don't intend to adhere to the rules of proper English grammar, as I am a not a prescriptive grammarian (I am, actually, but I'll blame my foibles on the fact that I'm an engineer). I'll mostly post on sports/sociopolitical issues like my man Diesel, but since we are in the midst of the Super Bowl doldrums, I'll opine on the Learn-and-Earn program being experimented on in a Georgia public school.

My initial thought on the story is that this is a total mistake. It is important to note that this is a privately funded program and does not necessarily concern my public tax dollars; so there's no need to sound the fiscal alarm. But it is also critical to understand that this is a program that essentially rewards incompetence and devalues hard work and self-determination. It's like that Simpsons episode where Homer discovers that he needn't use his own legs ' a sucker' (Sorry, no link, YouTube sucks these days).

Christ, this is the last thing that our beleaguered public schools need. Why don't they just put up a billboard on campus that states, 'Fuck up, and you get a cookie!'? I have a hard time believing that anyone is blind to the inherent disincentivization of self-directed learning and scholastic performance that such a program will cause. The program, which I will from this point refer to as 'student welfare', incorporates all of the negative properties of government-controlled welfare and filters out any virtue that food-stamp welfare may have. In other words, students that really need the help (dyslexic, autistic, and otherwise mentally challenged), already have programs to help them along. This program will only go to those students who are lazy and defiant enough to hold out for cash. It's like these students are holding our average test scores and grades hostage, and won't improve them until they get a helicopter, a million in unmarked bills, and a free pass out of town.

Meanwhile, students who actually make a coddamn effort on their own are implicitly told to go fuck themselves. Great. And I don't buy the 'Some of these students are in economically disadvantaged positions that impede scholastic performance' BS; if a student needs tutoring, they can get it on their own time and the public dime, anyway. And it's not as if high school is that hard to begin with; where I'm from (Arizona), it's actually sort of a joke. Just like this cockamamie program. Like Diesel put so eloquently a couple of posts ago: What the hell am I missing here?


Since that last bit was so rock-solid and bulletproof; something to which no rational being could possibly disagree, I'll offer up a few parting shots not worthy of a post themselves.

1. Beyonce has fatty legs:

Don't get me wrong, she is one hell of a beautiful woman, but, honestly, case closed.

2. Macbook Air: Does anyone actually give a flying fuck? Thinner than the average laptop computer, you say? Well, halle-fucking-lujah, that will save me a whopping inch, maybe one and a half, in my briefcase! And all I have to surrender are vital components? Woo-hoo! Perhaps they'll make another one of those asinine commercials that points out the fact that Mac guy is thinner (and less functional) than PC guy. Take that, PC guy!

3. Nothing. There is no third thing.


Muy Macho said...

Strongly dissagree! Blasphemy!Beyonce doesn't have fatty legs like Big C says. Just because he is is into the anorexic look, it doesn't mean that's what a normal chick should look like. Beyonce not perfect but totally do-able

Pepe B. Secessionist said...

You b-words didn't tell me this was going to turn into a culture blog. An anglo woulda stayed if he knew that!

Beyonce is not fat. That's the kind of thing I'd expect you ignorant racists/sexists/capitalists/weightists to say. That ain't fat, baby boy -- that's thick.

Big C said...

@ Muy Macho:

Of course Beyonce is doable!
That doesn't mean that she doesn't have a flaw. I have a thing for Gwen Stefani, but am the first to admit that she has the chest of a 10 year-old boy.

@ Pepe: No way am I a weightist! Or a capitalist, for that matter. LOLZ.

Beyonce's weight seems to fluctuate, but I'm only focusing on her legs, as every other aspect of her physique is just about perfect.

Thick is a dimension, fat is all about composition. For example, Serena Williams has thick legs. Beyonce has fatty (notice I used the term fatty, not fat) legs. The legs in that picture appear to be a little too smooth to be comprised entirely of muscle tissue.

Also, there is no way that anyone is giving a white or asian girl of the same composition (or dimensions, for that matter) the same pass that we give Beyonce. If we did, Delta Burke would still be on magazine covers. Thick, bah.

Muy Macho said...

Did everyone noticed how Big C denied being a weightist or a capitalist? But he never denied the rest of the accusations. There are lots of people that have muscle that is not defined and that's what gives them the smooth look. You can only noticed that definition if you work out or are naturally born that way.

Big C said...

Muy Nacho:

Stop ruining this country with jour bad grammar.

Oh, and Gloria Trevi looks like a frog.

b said...

Just remember, I reserve the right to slit anyone who makes fun of Beyonce, Serena or any other Nubian princess' throat.