Of all people, it's Jayson fucking Stark that gets out first a the spot-on take.
Man, it's a whole lot harder disliking him right now.
Showing posts with label Rick Ankiel. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Rick Ankiel. Show all posts
Friday, September 07, 2007
Salvo No. 1
Post-Dispatch columnist Jeff Gordon was the official voice of pseudo-reason for the sports section today, putting together a fairly well-intentioned column about the Ankiel situation.
But then, lurking close to the bottom of the piece in the "let's keep these things in mind" section, is this cute little bullet-point:
- Ankiel did not grow a freakishly oversized skull or a comically over-muscled torso, as Barry Bonds did. As Steroids Era poster boys go, he looks pretty normal. He got stronger, but not unusually so.
What's that, Lassie? The St. Louis media is already starting to disseminate ignorant justifications and defenses on Ankiel's part, invoking the name of convicted steroid user and dog killer Barry Bonds?!?
I would like to think Gordon, who has a certain je na sais quoi about him in that rakish mug of his — mischievousness? I like that in my sports writers — will on retrospect realize he's falling back on the old "muddying the waters" trick. Bonds has absolutely nothing to do with this case. NOTHING. To bring his name up in this circumstance is journalistic malpractice, plain and simple.
Also, I would like to note for Pat that Bonds is black, and Ankiel is still white (pending review by the St. Louis Chamber of Whiteness). See! They're racist! I TOLD YOU!
But then, lurking close to the bottom of the piece in the "let's keep these things in mind" section, is this cute little bullet-point:
- Ankiel did not grow a freakishly oversized skull or a comically over-muscled torso, as Barry Bonds did. As Steroids Era poster boys go, he looks pretty normal. He got stronger, but not unusually so.
What's that, Lassie? The St. Louis media is already starting to disseminate ignorant justifications and defenses on Ankiel's part, invoking the name of convicted steroid user and dog killer Barry Bonds?!?
I would like to think Gordon, who has a certain je na sais quoi about him in that rakish mug of his — mischievousness? I like that in my sports writers — will on retrospect realize he's falling back on the old "muddying the waters" trick. Bonds has absolutely nothing to do with this case. NOTHING. To bring his name up in this circumstance is journalistic malpractice, plain and simple.
Also, I would like to note for Pat that Bonds is black, and Ankiel is still white (pending review by the St. Louis Chamber of Whiteness). See! They're racist! I TOLD YOU!
And now, the first real test
Oops, Cardinals fans. Can anyone do anything for that franchise without either doping or becoming mortally injured?
You know, I really hate St. Louis in general, and its sports fans in particular. Everyone talks about how "great" the fans there are, but they only seem to be "great" when said player is white, pretends to be "aw shucks" about everything and doesn't ask to be paid what the market dictates he should be. Plus, they didn't kill off the Mormons when they had the chance, which is enough to condemn the entire state to eternal damnation (yes, I know St. Louis isn't anywhere close to that, but screw your "facts." St. Louis is the reason you can't get a beer in SLC with more than 5 percent alcohol, and I ain't hearin' any differently).
But, I'm not here to shed light on my irrational hatred of everything St. Louis. I am here to wonder, in written form, what the reaction is going to be from those red-clad, holier-than-thou Cardinals fans now that their Golden Boy has his name on the fucking HGH receipt.
Something tells me, no matter how lame Ankiel's apologia, the fans will figure out some way to justify it and look past it.
Look, I don't really care. First, HGH doesn't help baseball players, unless they're concerned about how they look in the shower. Second, I think the "outrage" over doping in baseball is 80 percent media and the rest a vocal minority of idiots who don't seem to realize that there are plenty of things to get all moralistic over these days that are a little more lofty in reach than professional athletics.
But I do love watching sanctimonious assholes get it shoved right back in their face. Who's the first St. Louis columnist to admit all the platitudes he crapped out about Ankiel were misdirected? Who's the first national columnist to admit that PED use really isn't restricted to giant, easily targeted sluggers like McGwire and is instead was (and probably still is) endemic throughout the entire game? And who's going to be the guy to admit that maybe it's time we moved on and stopped making Bonds the scapegoat for this entire issue? Because, believe it or not folks, your blue-eyed, Aryan heroes were/are just as juiced as those uppity blacks and latinos.
You know, I really hate St. Louis in general, and its sports fans in particular. Everyone talks about how "great" the fans there are, but they only seem to be "great" when said player is white, pretends to be "aw shucks" about everything and doesn't ask to be paid what the market dictates he should be. Plus, they didn't kill off the Mormons when they had the chance, which is enough to condemn the entire state to eternal damnation (yes, I know St. Louis isn't anywhere close to that, but screw your "facts." St. Louis is the reason you can't get a beer in SLC with more than 5 percent alcohol, and I ain't hearin' any differently).
But, I'm not here to shed light on my irrational hatred of everything St. Louis. I am here to wonder, in written form, what the reaction is going to be from those red-clad, holier-than-thou Cardinals fans now that their Golden Boy has his name on the fucking HGH receipt.
Something tells me, no matter how lame Ankiel's apologia, the fans will figure out some way to justify it and look past it.
Look, I don't really care. First, HGH doesn't help baseball players, unless they're concerned about how they look in the shower. Second, I think the "outrage" over doping in baseball is 80 percent media and the rest a vocal minority of idiots who don't seem to realize that there are plenty of things to get all moralistic over these days that are a little more lofty in reach than professional athletics.
But I do love watching sanctimonious assholes get it shoved right back in their face. Who's the first St. Louis columnist to admit all the platitudes he crapped out about Ankiel were misdirected? Who's the first national columnist to admit that PED use really isn't restricted to giant, easily targeted sluggers like McGwire and is instead was (and probably still is) endemic throughout the entire game? And who's going to be the guy to admit that maybe it's time we moved on and stopped making Bonds the scapegoat for this entire issue? Because, believe it or not folks, your blue-eyed, Aryan heroes were/are just as juiced as those uppity blacks and latinos.
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