Thursday, July 26, 2007

It's all your fault, Bill Conlin!

And with this pitch...
Chase Utley just broke his hand. Goodbye, MVP. Sayonara, slim playoff hopes.

And worse yet, it looks like it was intentional. (I wasn't watching the game.) Some dumbfuck Nats rookie got shelled and decided to drill Utley and Howard.

Congratulations, John Lannon. You've just passed Scott Olsen on the "pitchers I hope die in a fiery go-cart crash" list. You'd better pray to God you make it out of Philly alive. Buy a battery-proof helmet, you sorry piece of shit.

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

this is so damn funny, D. Suave just can't stop laughing. He he haw haw.

Pepe B. Secessionist said...

If you were in Tucson I would punch you in the kidney.

For serious.

Anonymous said...

GO...NATS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Pepe B. Secessionist said...

And people bitch about Philly fans for cheering injuries. At least we only did it to crackhead Michael Irvin.

You Seattle/San Diego/Monterrey/Maryland/Virginia/West Virginia fans have no class. Go burn a couch on your porch.

Anonymous said...

You say I have no class? Reality check: you're the one threatening to punch me in the kidney. And by the way, I've never lived in Monterrey, whereas I have lived in Tucson. How, oh how, could you leave that one off the list?

The issue I have with your position, in this case, isn't similar to the McNabb situation last year, where I was stunned (and I'm not bullshitting you with that word) that immediately after the injury, you proclaimed the whole season to be over. See, I've gotten used to Philly fans giving up on their teams when one little thing doesn't go right. If you remember, last year you said after that Giants loss, which would've been about week 2 or 3, the season was over for Philly. Wtf?

So okay, I get it, Philly fans whine and bitch constantly, and then physically threaten anyone who laughs at them for it. But here's the thing that bothers me, so to speak, this time around: yeah, it's a big injury, but I guarantee you nobody on that team thinks they can't still make the playoffs. Last year, when Seattle had more injuries than any other competitive team I ever remember, when we were lead by Seneca and Mo Morris, I didn't give up. I held my breath, hoped for the best, and more importantly, I didn't whine like a 3rd grade girl about it. Yeah, I know, you're going to bring up that Seattle fans whined about the Superbowl, but I'm not all Seahawk fans. I'm just me. The only time I did that was when someone else brought it up. For example, when you said something like, "man, i watched that game again, the hawks got hosed," I replied along the lines of, "yeah, it fucking sucked." But I never once brought it up myself, well, I probably did to Catherine, but I never once brought it up with other guys. Why? Because it's poor form and it makes you look like a bitch, which is to say, it makes you look like Philadelphia fans.

That said, I know I talk a lot of smack, but I can't help it. It's who I am. So I'm warning you now, when I go out and buy a Nats hat this weekend, photograph myself, and then send it to you every week until the end of the MLB season, don't get angry. Someday you'll laugh about it.

D. (GO NATS GO) Suave

Pepe B. Secessionist said...

I forgot, you only self-identify as Latino.

And dear Lord (and yes, by that I mean, Dear Anglo-Saxon Male Jesus Lord): are you seriously going to claim that you didn't cry about the Super Bowl? I watched it with you! All you did was bitch and moan! Yeah, you guys got hosed by a couple of bad calls, but you still would have won the game if Hasselbeck hadn't stunk up the joint and you didn't let Willie Parker run 70 yards untouched for a touchdown. Sack up.

The rest of your blathering only shows your ignorance of the situation. Chase Utley was the best player on a mediocre team (that's not editorializing -- look at their record) that had only a very slim chance of making the postseason even before his injury (last I knew, Baseball Prospectus had them at 16 percent). He was also the odds-on favorite for NL MVP. So it's not at all an exaggeration to say that the injury cost him the MVP, and will probably eliminate what dim playoff hopes the Phils had. You don't remove the NL's most potent offensive force from the 3 hole and not notice the difference.

As for the players still thinking they can make the playoffs, who gives a shit about that? I bet every Seattle team in history thought it was good enough to win a title. And how many rings do they have?

Anonymous said...

of course i was upset during the game, dork, but I'm talking about my reaction after it was over. But you're right, I don't know what I'm talking about, since I could care less about baseball. That said, anytime I hear you cry about a Philadelphia team, I just can't take it seriously anymore. Remember how you drunkely moaned about the eagles season being over last year after that giants game? you're so emotional that I can't help wonder about your estrogen level.