The Stupidest Thing I've Heard All Day, April 11

Two things, actually. I promise, I'm going to stop pretending that Joe Morgan is a legitimate topic, but there are two of the single funniest, most obtuse things I've ever seen in my life. I am now convinced that Joe Morgan is functionally illiterate, and has his 7-year-old godson answer all the questions "because he knows about those newfangled eletrical keyboards."

Mike (St. Louis): Joe, can you share your favorite Jackie Robinson encounter with us?

Joe Morgan: I guess the one time I met him and had a chance to talk to him. I told him thank you and he smiled and said you're welcome. That's probably my favorite when we had a chance to converse.

I don't know why, but I can't get the image of Joe Morgan being soothed by his wife out of my head. It is a disturbing image.

And then, the most awesome chat response of all time:

Rick H. (Selah, Wa.): Do you think King Felix has a shot at the AL Cy Young this season? Or, will it be another year or two?

Joe Morgan: Dwight Gooden is the best young pitcher I've ever seen. He was better than all of them at a young age.

In the words of Alex Trebeck, "Simply stunning."