Fourth Quarter

That's three straight third-and-long conversions for the 'skins. Now Dawkins is down on the field. We have no backup for him, literally -- we have three safeties and two of them have gotten hurt this game.

Touchdown, Washington. And Clinton Portis, who has done nothing in his Redskins career worth dancing about, is celebrating.

21-9, Redskins. Here's a prediction for the postgame press conference: Andy Reid will mumble something about the blame being on him. The phrase "we just didn't get it done" will be muttered. He'll be right.

Hold on a second -- my mlb.com gamecast says the Phils just brought Fabio Castro in to close out the game. Fabio fucking Castro? Dude was in AAA a month ago! Why did you move your best starter into the pen if you're not going to use him now? This is unbelievable. Just unbelievable.

Thank you, Tony Kornheiser, for pointing out the franchise's complete failure to ever give McNabb any legitimate WR threats. If only TO weren't such a sociopath.

Can we just schedule McNabb's season-ending injury for later in this quarter, so I can get all the misery out of the way and focus on the Phillies, and their misery?

Fourth and four in Redskins territory. This is pretty much the last gasp. I'm predicting one of two things: a dumb play-action pass where McNabb has no time to find the receivers who aren't open because the secondary didn't bite because they never run the ball, or a screen pass to somebody shitty like Thomas Tapeh that nets them three yards and a turnover on downs.

I've been watching the second half with my roommate, who came home at halftime and started asking dumb questions about football and calling the Redskins the "Indians." I might punch him in the teeth soon.

And McNabb threads his first needle of the night. First down. OK, Donnie. You just keep me hangin' on. And then he nearly airmails Westbrook. At least he's never boring.

FRANCISCO ROSARIO IS PITCHING? NO! NO NO NO NO NO! WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING, CHARLIE MANUEL?

Dawkins has a "neck injury." Three of the four starters in our secondary are hurt. Lovely.

Why does it always take the Eagles six minutes to go from the opponents' 40 to the 10?

Don't you dare show that red zone graphic, goddamnit! Last time you did that he threw a pick-six!

Fourth and a long two. Hey, could we please get another screen pass? Really, it'll work this time. Not like the last six.

Another field goal. Whoo.

Russell Branyan is batting with two men on? NOOOOOOOOO! This is like The Perfect Storm of sports! We're taking on water!

Trey Wingo confirms that the Phillies have won! Nice! 2 1/2 back of the Mets, which is great, since the Padres are apparently going to win every game for the rest of the season. Howard with 2 homers!

Too bad Jeff Fisher got an extension. I wish he was the Eagles' coach.

Santana Moss was just as open as I've ever seen anybody. I don't even know if they replaced Brian Dawkins with anybody, because nobody was playing safety right there. I don't understand how Campbell overthrew him.

Reno Mahe. Soft hands.

Ha! Donny shaking the rush and shovel-passing! Look who's decided to show up!

2nd and 1, Andy runs the ball! Progress!

McNabb evades pressure, throws a laser, first down. Ruh roh!

D-Mac tries a deep ball into triple coverage. Through the defender's hands. I am taking small breaths.

A DRAW? On 3rd and 2? A fucking DRAW? You finally decide to run the ball and it's a draw on third and 2? Even Tirico said it was a stupid playcall! Mike Tirico makes more sense than you, Andy Reid!

Fourth down again. I can't handle this.

AAAAHHH! REGGIE BROWN! We missed you, tiger! Sort of a bad pass ... first down.

Another first down.

Rush to get a play off, Mr. Badclockmanagement. McNabb gets pummeled. Incomplete. Timeout.

If I had to predict right now, I'd say they score a TD, and then blow the conversion thanks to a stupid playcall.

Short pass to Kevin Curtis. He is not very good. Not even as good as Stallworth.

Curtis wide open and he overthrows him. Fuck. Fourth and six. Tough spot on the field to make this playcall.

LISTEN, ANDY: WHATEVER YOU DO, MAKE SURE THE RECEIVERS ARE MORE THAN SIX YARDS DOWNFIELD! I AM SAYING THIS BEFORE THE PLAY! THROW THE BALL PAST THE YELLOW LINE!

D-Mac delivers and Kevin Curtis drops it. Hard hit, but he should have held on. Glad we spent all that money on this guy.

Game over. Fuck this. We're probably going to lose to Detroit next week, with three members of our secondary out. I hope the Eagles lose every game for the rest of the season, just so I don't have to watch Andy Reid coach my team anymore. I hate that man so much.

At least it's still baseball season.