Quarter Two

Wait, there's an entire show based on the Geico caveman commercials? Are you fucking kidding me?

Holy schnikes, D-Mac just hung Reggie Brown out to dry. Reggie Brown, where you been all my life?

Fantastic catch by the guy who's fast replacing Brown as the go-to guy, Jason Avant. Great hands on that guy.

WEAPON X!

WEAPON X!

42 yards in two rushes. Approx. 9 broken tackles. Best RB in the NFC.

Hey, can we talk about Britt Reid some more when the Eagles are about to score? Please? I want to know about Andy Reid's kids! If gun-toting cokeheads are so fascinating, there are plenty on the Redskins to talk about ...

David Akers, former steakhouse waiter in Louisville, converts the field goal.

3-3 halfway through the second. I picked the worst game ever to live blog.

So while we're on break ... apparently Doyle objects to Westy's primary nickname, Weapon X. I've heard him called other things, so I did a google search. Apparently, he has an IMDB page. WTF?

William James! I take it all back! That interception was profound and cerebral!

Re: the nickname issue, I kind of like The Wizard of Westbrook. Can somebody be "of" their last name? Oh, grammar, thou art a cold mistress.

LJ Smith with a catch. He's playing with a sports hernia. That always works out well.

And we have an Andy Reid run/pass graphic! 7/16 today, and he has the most skewed ratio of any head coach in NFL history! Thank you, ESPN! And now it's another incomplete pass! I will now hang myself.

6-3 Eagles. Man, is the Phillies game on?

Clinton Portis goes nowhere. He sucks.

Oh shit, Considine is hurt. We only have 3 safeties on the roster. This could be very bad. Now warming up, Quinton Mikell. From ... ? C'mon, Doyle, you should know this.

Juqua Thomas with the sack. If it weren't for Kearse's $7M salary, he'd be a starter.

Memo to Jim Johnson: STOP FUCKING BLITZING ON EVERY THIRD DOWN! Everybody knows it's coming.

Nice play, Reno! Very cerebral! Or is it crafty? Calculating? What do you call Pacific Islanders? Paging Joe Morgan ...

Hey look, they're running the ball. Hey look, it's working. Driving at the 2-min warning -- here comes some bad clock management, folks!

OK, OK, I'll say it: Donovan looks like shit so far this season. I retain faith in him, if not the coaching staff.

On the flip side, and I know I'm jinxing myself here, the defense has looked much, much better than I expected.

All I'm seeing here is non-mobile black QBs overthrowing receivers. It's like Byron Leftwich has been signed to be all-time quarterback.

Campbell scrambles for 20 yards on a blatant hold.

STOP FUCKING BRINGING THE HOUSE JIM JOHNSON, YOU DICK!

Speaking of bad clock management, nice work, Redskins! Three consecutive penalties when you're on the 2-yard-line!

Turns out I spoke way too soon about the Philly defense. The secondary still can't cover. Touchdown Redskins. Fuck.

I was on the phone when the timeout was called on the field goal. Did Andy Reid call that timeout? Or was it the 'skins? And if he did, WHAT THE FUCK IS HIS PROBLEM? God, he even manages the clock poorly when he doesn't have the ball.

10-6 at halftime. But the Phillies are winning 11-0! And the Mets are losing!